What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have feelings that need drinking.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
