I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
