Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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