he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
