jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
