you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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