Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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