I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
