My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
