did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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