how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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