we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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