They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
