There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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