We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
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it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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