I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
