plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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