absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
