What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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