i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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