I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the raccoons are back...
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