I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
