it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
