Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
