her vagine was all disorganized.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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