i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
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I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
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The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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