Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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