ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
