Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
