In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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