i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
