I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
