I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize