Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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