A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you will always have a special place in my vag
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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