So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I smell stomach acid.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
