I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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