yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
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