So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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