So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
