laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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