I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i think my mom watched the whole time
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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