yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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