so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.