did you get engaged???
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.