If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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