i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
