Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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