I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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