i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My breasts were aching with rage.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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