Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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