i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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