some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
