it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
