i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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