your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
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How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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