To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Drunk is a universal language darling
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