I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
