Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
