Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
